My Little Dhampir
by Knoxdiver
Summary: WARNING: This story contains Shadow Kiss spoilers. Specifically, it is part of chapter 22 from Adrian Ivashkov's pov. Basically, Adrian witnesses interaction between Rose and Dimitri and contemplates his feelings for her.


**A/N: I don't own anyone. All characters are property of the masterful Richelle Mead.**

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I didn't understand how no one else noticed it. Of course, no one else was able to see what I could: that their auras glowed with passion and…well, love.

Regardless of my extra sense, it was still so blatantly obvious. Rose was still straddling Belikov, her fingers splayed across his chest, which heaved in sync with her own after their 'battle.' Teacher and student gazed at each other as though they were drowning and the other was their air. Or perhaps as though a hungry Strigoi might gaze upon a hapless victim. Starving. Ravenous. I half expected them to go at it right there in front of everyone on the cold, wet grounds.

An iron fist clenched in my stomach, twisting my insides. I tasted something metallic and slightly acidic in my mouth. It felt like when the magic left my control: dark, angry, perverse. _Jealousy_, I realized.

I paid barely any notice to the buzzing of the excited crowd that had gathered. All my attention was focused on Rose—my little dhampir—and _him_. The pair of them looked unlikely to ever move again when the female guardian pulled Rose up. My insides lurched painfully as I registered the shock and disappointment coating her exotic features.

God, I couldn't take this any more. Obviously the drinks I'd already downed hadn't numbed me enough. Hidden as I was, it was no matter to slip away to a hidden bench on the other side of the library. Raking a hand through my hair, I pulled one of my cigarettes out of my pocket and lit it.

My lips twitched into a rueful smile as I thought about all the reforming lectures Rose had shot my way. If only she knew how easy it would be for her to convince me to quit my, as she considered them, deplorable habits. I leaned my head back on the wall behind me, which tipped my face toward the dark night sky, and, blowing smoke toward the glittering stars, I contemplated my difficult position.

How nice it must be to walk under the sun. Rose wondered why our dream meetings took place where they did, but those were the only times when I could be in the sun—and alone with her. If I were a dhampir, I could go out in the sun with Rose. I would be a guardian, and she would respect me, maybe even love me for it. I wouldn't have the magic that attacked my mind, that made Rose despise and doubt me. I would be—Belikov. Bastard.

I would give up everything for her, and she had no idea. Despite her I-don't-give-a-damn attitude, I could tell Rose _was_ afraid of the dishonor of being with a Moroi—particularly me—of being a blood whore. Ohhh, how sweet her blood must taste. I could only imagine how immensely satisfying it would be if _I_ were the one she wanted. If I could hold her in my arms and cherish every inch of her stunningly sensuous body. If I could kiss her full lips and hold that luxurious dark hair in my hands. If I, when she was calling out _my_ name in blissful ecstasy, could sink my fangs into the soft, tender flesh of her neck and drink of her blood as if it were ambrosia.

But honestly, that was not the entire reason for my attraction to Rose. Her body, though spectacular, could not wholly compete with her mind, her heart, her _spirit_. Her supposed disdain and impatience for me did drive me crazy, in all the right ways. She was intriguing playing this little game of hers. I also knew it would be more beneficial for me to leave her alone, but I simply could not stay away. She inexplicably drew me toward her like some kind of magnet. That, I knew, was something Belikov and I had in common. Funny we would have in common that which made us bitter rivals in my mind.

Feeling my mood drop sharply from thinking of my competition, I dropped my cigarette onto the ground, stamped it out, and lit another as I forced my mind back to my dhampir rather than her secret lover—a welcome change. My innate attraction to Rose—physical desire aside—had to do with what I felt around her. I was deeply affected by her dedication to her work, her persistence, and her loyalty to Lissa and her other friends. Despite the dark shadow that perpetually haloed her, Rose lifted my heart. I had no doubt that Rose did more for my sanity than all of my somewhat illicit vices.

I'm not a complete ass. I'm not saying I want Rose because she can cure me of the effects of spirit. Sappy and clichéd, perhaps, but she made me want to be a better person. She made me feel normal, rather than the freak I'd always assumed I was. Rose—and Lissa, too, I suppose—was a force to be reckoned with. The pair of them would change our world, I knew. I was sure Rose would become the most famous and decorated guardian ever. She would do her duty better than anyone ever. She already did.

But I knew I had things to give to Rose. I could help her, too. Sure, because of my birthright I could give her material possessions and care for her. But I had other things to offer. I could love Rose publicly. I would, if she ever gave me the chance. We could change the dhampir-Moroi stigma. I could give her children. What could _he_ give her except a few stolen kisses and heartache?

If only Rose knew that she had this second option. Me. Perhaps tonight I'll tell her. Perhaps tonight she'll take me seriously, fall into my arms, and profess her unending love for me.

Yeah, I wish.

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**A/N2: I've decided I'm going to put in a second chapter of MLD using chapter 29 of Shadow Kiss rather than publish another one-shot. Hopefully it will be up in a couple days. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. *hint hint*  
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